Don't get the wrong idea. it's just the song that I'm listening too..

Updateupdate update..
Ah.. new tv's here.. pretty thing she is. tis nice to watch tv without the masses of disturbance on analog.. well.. watching digital now... It's still not perfect but it's very fucking nice.
The wonders a peaceful smoke will bring you, sitting out the front in my pj's and jacket, bare feet in the soggy grass.. pewpew don't care.
Less drama please.
I've had a big boost in confidence, which, unfortunatly has made me even more needy. Urg. what a touch of love/lust will do too you.
Meaning I had my first slow dance. Taken 21 years and a wedding but there it is. Best part I was asked to dance in such a gentlemanly manner by an attractive tall partial stranger. Okay, so it was nicki's brother, but mreeeh. Hawt times, stroking my arm and blowing gently on me, that boy is walking himself into getting raped next time I see him. Oh and saying I'm hot too.. yum.
Running out of alchohol, not good, but then again I just can't be arsed getting drunk these days.
Still taking life day by day, which is fucking up everything, but I can't take thinking about the future, or trying too.
I need to start talking to some institutions. Meaning Melbourne University and the Australian Army.
Trying to take a positive outlook but I'm stressing about how much I'll be stressing.
And then there's thinking about just how much schooling I'm going to have to do. At the least, I've come up with a much better idea when it comes to going through university... it's just that it's going to suck like all hell cause I'm going to have to work my wasy through.
But. Hopefully. I'll have my cert 4, meaning I can work part time in nursing while I study for my bachelor of nursing.
Then again because I want to become a field medic in the army, so I'm going to have to talk to them about what I need to do to become one.
On that note, hurrah for them considering bringing females into the front line. Let's be honest. We should have the same right or opportunity to fight and die just like the men.
If I can become a field medic, I could see the front line with the others. To stand for my country and prove my worth.
How patriotic.
In the mean time. I'm killing time, wondering what to do. And what I need to do. I'll need to condition myself and lose weight, bulk up muscle and stamina, and most of all the traits.. endurance. Also considering lasic surgery for my eyes. To remove the pain that would be, and are, glasses.
Wow I smell of cigarette's. Blerg.
However, in the short future that is today, I should shower and get dressed, finally got a doctor's appointment to pick up painkillers and my other drugs. Also going to have a chat about getting something to help me sleep better.
So. Xeno and Nicki got married, it was a beautiul wedding. Truly the best I've seen. Congratulations again guys. Though I'm not sure if you'll see this. Hmm.
Thinking about dragging my arse into the city on the up and coming Melbournites DevMeet. I've told them I'll come if they promise eye candy of the mid-to-late twenties and early thirties. In turn, I shall bring cupcakes. In fact. that is what I'll do today. Cupcakes. I shall make them.
Talk like yoda I shall.
Anyway, I'm off, I need to shower and what not.
Ciao my lovlies.