Computers back up and running. The piece of shit.
I've got four games on it. All which frustrate the fuck out of me. And all of which run poorly. Well. There's having a shit computer for you.
Looking forward to spending the week away soon. Then again. Not looking forward to it. Conflicting issues. Piss it.
Either way. CodCodCodCodCodCodCod.
Yay.
Closing down more! Great fun. Going back to states I haven't been in in years. Jenni helps but doesn't. Shit sucks. That's that. Tell me I'm an emo or anything like it and I'll rape the heads of your family members with a brick.
I haven't listened to Jonestown Tea in ages. Shame. It's such a damn good song.
Three features in the local newspapers recently, second time they included everyone else's portrait's of themselves with their work, and discarded mine. Rather. Fucking. Offended.
I think I'll kill them for that.
Atleast that little 'Amy' shit.
"=E Durr.... you mean like cars?"
Naomi's been shitting me recently. It's getting difficult not to just cut my face into a big smile to spite her. Should have done it before the exhibition.
Been reading alot of books that I haven't read in a long time. I'm most surprised at how amazingly.... Ignorant they are. Cops working in homocide, being surprised by someone beating in the skull of two nuns.
Fuck me. I'd do it. They're still only people.
I've had 13 tablets (night seperated) on one of the most 'effective' sleep tablets available. About five of those nights have been satisfying... the other nights are the same. Shit. Disturbed. Dreams (nightmares? Even though I don't think I've had an actual nightmare' since I was a child.) all the time. Waking up every 2-3 hours... sometimes less. Sometimes more. And now not am I only having trouble staying asleep. But I've been having a bit of trouble getting to sleep. That amazing fucking circle of life.
Stress = No sleep. No sleep = More stress. More stress = Even less sleep.
Well... you can see where I'm going with this.
Back onto the subject of not talking to people. I just don't think I can handle it anymore. I've stopped talking to alot of people.. some purposeful, some not. Some people I just couldn't stand talking to anymore.. or seeing them. Listening to the broken fucking record of shit that they'd spill at me. I got sick of fucking cleaning up after people.
Thing is. People are having to do that alot for me these days too. Having to clean up after me. Take my tantrums. Wipe away tears and coo me into calm. Of course the only person that is doing that is Aaron. I don't want anyone else getting close to me. They expect answers. Demand them. They expect too much. They always have. And now I'm giving less than I ever have.
Easing off the cutting alot... infact I was off it for months, before a five cut...cut. I've mostly taken to punching myself, and tearing my hair out. No bald patches yet. But I've had my fair share of black eyes and swollen faces.
Got my hair cut back a few weeks ago. Damn short again. Great. But I look like a dyke. Dark purple hair and a fucking bad attitude. Grand.
Going to get a tattoo for my birthday. What yet I don't know. But I'll figure it out.
I really need codecs for media player... Fucking thing can't play anything now. Shits me.
The dog's looking at me funny.
I hate lots and lots of people. Lots and lots of them.